Our Current Situation...Send Wine

Wow things have been crazy lately. We have been so busy with so much going on I wanted to share a brief update. I am sure this won't even include everything that has been going on because my brain is all over the place.

Matt and I got a day date a few weeks ago and had a blast. We were going to go see Hidden Figures but there were only front row seating left when we got there so we decided the brewery was a better option anyways. We will try again for the movie another time, hoping for another day date soon!

We had to find a new daycare provider for the kids. My work schedule changed and we needed full time care and our provider was not able to watch the kids full time. Finding new child care is awful! I hate the process but I think we have found someone great and am very excited for her to become a part of our family. I was a nanny for many years so having a nanny is something special to me.

On that note we might be finding a new preschool for Kinley next year. Her school is only offering Monday - Friday for the 3's class and we know we do not want to send her full time all day long. We are so torn on what to do because we don't want her to have to go through the transition again, it was tough on her and she still has days she struggles.

I have been pumping for 10 months and can not wait to be done! Not done breastfeeding but done pumping! I do not respond well to the pump and feel so frustrated after a pumping session. I will probably stop somewhere after a year but we will continue to breastfeed until who knows when. I breastfed Kinley until she was about 17.5 months when my work schedule changed so it gave us a good time to wean. I had quite the journey with her.

Kinely is sooooo full of sass and attitude! I was 100% expecting 3 to be worse than 2 and it most definitely has been. She is testing boundaries and says the sassiest things. Where do they get these things from? Do not let that sweet face fool you! She has been pretty rotten if I am being honest. On a happier note with her she has been in swim lessons for almost 3 months and she is doing great and loves it.

We have been trying to get Zander to sleep better at night, we have transitioned out of the Dockatot and working on lessening his night wake ups. He really still needs the ounces with his night feeding so I don't mind keeping it for a little longer, I would just like him to go back to sleep faster after. He is cutting about 4 teeth right now so things have been tough. I know eventually it will get better and really each day flies by so I am trying to not stress about things. Though I am tired.

I know that picture of them is blurry but it is too cute not to share. That is all I can think about for right now! Happy Hump day to everyone! This is my first week working 5 days in a row in awhile and I am not excited for it! Hoping these next few days fly by.

Our Breastfeeding Journey

Our breastfeeding journey started when I was pregnant with Zander. I was able to breastfeed my first for 18 months, but it was not an easy journey and I had hoped to have things go a little smoother the second time. I had a c section with Kinley and knew as soon as she was born that I wanted things to go different if we ever had more children. Breastfeeding is hard and not as natural as everyone says, it takes a lot of dedication and perseverance. I wanted to educate myself. And let me also say some people just can't breastfeed and that is ok. My choice was to breastfeed my children.

I spent endless hours researching VBACs and how to have a successful VBAC. I knew I did not want another c section and would do every thing possible to make that happen. I wanted to know that if I was not successful I did everything I could to set myself up for success.

I knew I was going to breastfeed Zander but I was unsure how things would go the second time around. I was hoping that if I had a VBAC it would make our breastfeeding journey a little easier than the first time. Having a c section the first time made things a little more challenging looking back.

I am proud to say I had a successful unmedicated VBAC on April 6, 2016. It was the most amazing experience ever. Zander was placed on my chest immediately following his birth and he stayed there for almost an hour. He made his way up to the breast and latched on his own. It was amazing to be so coherent and share the first latch experience with him. I did not have any pain medications so I was fully present and able to soak up every second of our first latch.

I had some pain initially, which is normal, but was so nervous about it being detrimental to our journey; I had excruciating pain with Kinley for about 6 months. I had done a lot of research on tongue ties and lip ties, because looking back that was the reason for all the agonizing pain with my daughter. I was adamant in having the doctors and nurses check for tongue and lip ties. Thankfully my husband is and was an amazing support to me through all of this. It is so important to advocate for what you want and what you think is best for your baby, I truly believe in mother's intuition. Before we left the hospital one of the nurses informed me he did have a little bit of a lip tie but if the pain subsided after a few weeks and he was gaining weight it shouldn't need to be fixed.

I tried to believe in myself and know things would work out. Stressing makes breastfeeding harder so I tried to remain calm and lean on my husband for support. Having a toddler running around also made things a lot more challenging for me. Zander and I could not lay in bed all day while he nursed, my toddler needed attention as well. I was determined to be successful with breastfeeding. That is what I wanted for myself and my baby. I have no judgement for people that want to give formula but I knew that was not for us and breastfeeding my baby was going to be the best for our family.

About 6 weeks in things started to get easier. The engorgement was gone and the majority of the nipple pain was gone. I used a LOT of lanolin in between feedings. I also did not pump at all, which I think really helped.

We have had a few hiccups in the road but nothing major and nothing we haven't been able to work through. I am proud to say we are almost 8 months in and we both couldn't be happier. I pump while I work so he gets breast milk while I am gone and he nurses when I am with him.

One thing that really helped me is to not have high expectations and to go with the flow. I knew I wanted to breastfeed and knew I would do everything I could to succeed, but if it didn't work out that was ok; at least that is what I told myself. Thankfully for us it has worked out. I think it is so important to have a support system and be able to lean on other moms for questions when it comes to feeding your baby. Everyone has a different story and there is so much to learn from everyone. Do what is best for you and your baby and do not get caught up in what other's think. The best supports will support whatever decision you make. We choose to breastfeed.

I wouldn't trade looking into those big blue eyes while we share one of the best experiences ever. I am so thankful to have been able to breastfeed both my babies.

The Honest Company Feeding page is a great resource and supports all ways to feed your child if you need additional information. Check out their Pinterest too, for some other mommy tips.

Breastfeeding Essentials

Happy National Breastfeeding Week. I can't believe Zander and I are almost 4 months into our breastfeeding journey. Things have gone smoother this time around. You can read about Kinley and I's journey here. We definitely had our challenges, though I am proud to say we made it 17.5 months!

There are a few items that I really contribute to successful breastfeeding.

1. Support System: Breastfeeding is time consuming. If I didn't have my amazing husband cheering me along or keeping Kinley occupied this go around I am not sure where my journey's would have ended up.

2. Water Bottle or Cup: You will always see me with a Starbucks cup! I love the cups they make with the smaller straws. I once read you drink more water out of a straw and I think that is true. I never go anywhere without my cup.

3. Nursing tanks: I love the nursing tanks from Target. I live in them. I always have one on underneath a shirt and sleep in them. They make breastfeeding much more convenient.

4. Boppy: I love our boppy! I used the one so much with Kinley I got another one for Zander because I felt it got flat from so much use. A definite favorite.

5. Teething Necklace: This is a new one for me. Even though Zander is only almost 4 months he has already become a fan of the teething necklaces, while breastfeeding and just to chew on.

6. Breast Pump: This time I have the pump in style that seems to really be working well for me. A good pump is crucial to me since I work full time and have to ensure I am pumping enough milk.

7. Milk Storage Bags: I have been using the babies r us brand since I received some of them as a gift, but I am a big fan of the up and up bags from Target.

8. Lanolin: This was a definite must have at the beginning. You will have sore nipples to start with but it gets better I promise! Though with Kinley I had 6 months of pain! I am not sure how we kept going.

What are some of your go to breastfeeding essentials?

Life With Two: A Look at our Day

Lets just say life with two is definitely busy! I thought life with one was busy! I think the adjustment is the hardest part, whether you are going from 0-1, 1-2, 2-3, 3-4; you get my point. Finding that balance is key. We are 6 weeks in and I would say we are doing pretty good! Matt went back to work last week so I have been solo for almost 2 weeks. We definitely miss daddy but I would say things have been going well. He might disagree when he walks into a disaster but both kids are happy so I would call that a success. 

I have tried to get us back into somewhat of a routine to have some consistency again. It is going to change again in 6 weeks when I go back to work so we are taking things at our pace. Kinley has really been struggling with being away from me or going to do things like she did before. She loved going to her in home daycare and music class and she has struggled a little with both. She even has doubt when going to her Nanny and Poppy's house alone. I am not going to force her to do any of that so we have been easing back in slowly. It is working for us and she did much better at music class this week. 

By the time we get up in the morning Matt has already left for work and Zander usually needs to be fed; NOW He is pretty good at giving me a few minutes to get Kinley settled with some milk and her breakfast. We all sit down to watch a show or two while I feed Zander, drink coffee and Kinley eats breakfast. Once they are both fed I can grab a quick breakfast for myself. I made this oatmeal bake last week and it was so easy to have the next morning. I need some more recipes like this for when I go back to work because I know the mornings will be much chaos. 

Now that I have had one cup of coffee I can start thinking about our day. It really is nice to get out of the house even if it is only to the park. While I try to get Zander to nap I sit down with Kinley and do some kind of actviity; coloring, painting, stickers or dancing are a few of her favorites. It is important to me that I try to get some one on one time with her even when I have them both all day.  I try to get the dishes done or a load of laundry done in the morning also. Does it always happen...NOPE, and that is ok. 

We usually eat lunch around 11:30-12:00 at home. It is so much easier to eat at home and cheaper. I try to get Kinley to make it until 1 for a nap but a lot of days she doesn't make it that long and she is down by 12-12:30. She naps about an hour and a half to two hours. I hold Zander and relax a little myself on most days. He is so little and when I go back to work I know I will not be able to snuggle him as much so I am going to soak it up now. Even if that means my house is a disaster. Sorry babe!

After nap I try to get everyone outside. Sometimes it is to the park and other times it is blowing bubbles in the driveway. The weather hasn't been great so sometimes we just find things to do inside. She loves to play hide and seek so we have been playing a lot of that. Daddy gets home around 3:45-4:00 and takes over for a few while I try to get dinner prepped. We like to eat dinner with Kinley so I try to have dinner done by 5ish. After dinner Kinley runs around more like a crazy toddler and we do bath and pjs. We settle down around 7 for milk, snack and stories. She is in bed by 7:30 and we are working on getting Zander down too. Matt usually will hold him until we head to our room around 9 for one last feeding before I put him down for the night. 

Then we do it all again the next day. In the midst of the day I fed Zander on demand, which has been about every 2 hours still. It makes some activities tricky but we are making it work and I will be honest Kinley has been great. She is the sweetest thing to him and will help get diapers, wipes and his bink when needed. I sure am loving being a mommy to these two and wouldn't change a thing even on the worst days. 

Our Year in Review

Well this isn't too late :). We are still technically in the first week of the month. We had a pretty amazing year in 2015 and are definitely excited about what 2016 is going to bring us. For now though...our 2015 review.

January

We enjoyed a quiet new years day in as a family.

Kinley went to her first gym class at the Little Gym. She definitely loved it but to be honest it was a little expensive in my opinion for a one year old.

February

We had quite a few fun snow days in February which gave us some much needed family time. We baked home made cookies and Kinley enjoyed eating all the chocolate chips. This was her first taste of sweets. She was a fan!

My mom came and as always we had such a blast! Of course it was too short but we look forward to her coming again soon when baby boy arrives.

Kinley had strep again (and our nanny quit) which was not exciting, but I do love all the cuddles! I know someday she is going to not want to snuggle with me.

March

Matt and I enjoyed a wonderful date night which does not happen often enough. That is one of my goals for the new year to have more dates!

Kinley started daycare at an in home that we LOVE! We are so thankful for Ms. E after having such struggles with a nanny. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and this was a huge blessing to us.

Kinley had her first swimming experience. What a blast! She loved it!!

I celebrated turning 33 with my two favorite people and it could not have been better! I also started a new job that I really enjoy.

April 

April was defintiely bittersweet for me. I stopped breastfeeding Kinley. After starting my new job it was just teh right timing. I still miss it and am very excited to breastfeed this baby boy. Kinley and I had quite the journey.

We celebrated a great Easter with Matt's family. His grandparents came to visit later in April which we always enjoy as well.

Kinley enjoyed her first carnival. She rode the train and went down the big slide with mommy.

May

We had our first zoo trip and ended up buying season passes. Kinley loves animals and we knew we would get back often. We didn't get as much as we liked but hopefully a few more times before baby boy comes.

Kinley and I traveled to Colorado for my sister's wedding shower. We had a great time spending some time at my nephew's baseball games and hanging out with family.

We took Kinley strawberry picking for the second year in a row and she was all about it this year. She picked the berries right off and ate away. Good thing I brought a spray bottle to clean them :).

June

Kinley went to the beach for the first real time. She has been before but not where she could get in the water and enjoy it. She did not want to leave.

We all traveled back to Colorado for my sister's wedding. I was the matron of honor and Kinley was the flower girl. She did amazing and we all had a fantastic time. Here are some tips for traveling with a toddler.

We got back from Colorado and Matt and I enjoyed an adult wedding of our two friends Chelsea and Tony. It was a much needed night out.

Matt celebrated his last father's day to an only child. Little did he know :).

July

I wrote one of my most popular posts. 3 car seat myths busted. If you have been following me for a while or know me you know car seat safety is a passion of mine.

Had some beach family pictures done by the amazing Lori Woodhouse Photography. I was quite frustrated with the windy evening we had but of course we ended up with some priceless memories.

We took a road trip up to Baltimore to see a wonderful friend of mine, Erin. Kinley and Bodie are only a few months apart and are the cutest when they are together. We don't get to see them often but we try for at least once a year.

Kinley graduated from her first story time class at the library. She was so proud.

I really started to embrace life as a working mom around this time. It is hard work but over all very rewarding for me. I hope the rest of us working moms will learn to embrace their role too.

August

Another beach trip in the books. This time we headed down to the Outer Banks where my step mom and her family were. I wish we could've stayed longer. Hoping they make another trip this year.

Kinley enjoyed her first ice cream eating experience.

Kinley got strep yet again. But this time it really made me thankful for the midnight screams. It is so sad when your children are sick.

September

The big announcement. Kinley is going to be a BIG SISTER!! We could not be more excited for our family.

Deciding on some must haves for baby #2 and letting go of the mommy guilt.

October

We closed on our first house as a married couple. We owned the townhouse, still do, but did not purchase that together. This house is ours and couldn't be more special.

Matt and I celebrated 4 wonderful years of marriage. It has been the best.

Kinley went trick or treating for real for the first year and jumped in many piles of leaves. We also had a blast at the pumpkin patch this year.

November

We celebrated another friend's beautiful wedding. Yay for another date!

Kinley turned 2!!! Wow time flies! I also took that time to reflect back on her, my first born, and how much I love her.

Had some more amazing family photos done. I was sure this time we were not getting any good ones. Kinley threw up on the way there and the entire shoot she fussed and clinged to me! Come to find out the poor girl had an ear infection. BUT....of course there were some amazing photos.

December

We did a few family holiday activities, looking at lights and making cookies were the highlights. We also found out that our baby girl was really a baby boy. Boy what a shocker!

Celebrated an amazing holiday with my mom here and Matt's family. My dad and step mom were even able to come visit for a day.

We ended the year on the couch with a movie and in bed by 10pm. Exciting life we lead I tell you, but I wouldn't change it for the world! Goodbye 2015!

We are so exited to see what 2016 brings us and our family! We know one thing is for sure we will be adding an amazing boy to our family.

What No One Tells You About Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is HARD!! No one wants to tell you the struggles breastfeeding brings; the cracked bleeding nipples, pain when the baby eats, pain when you are pumping every 2-4 hours to make enough milk, the amount of dedication it takes to continue, the numerous times quitting went through my head, the list could go on. Now don't get me wrong, I loved being able to breastfeed my child for 17 months but it didn't come easy. It took a lot of tears, support, dedication and perseverance! I'm by no means judging anyone that chooses not to breastfeed their child or just simply can't. Everyone's journey is different. This is ours!

I choose to breastfeed our child and I wasn't giving up. It was something that was extremely important to me so we were gonna make it work, tears and all!

I want moms to know that it isn't always as natural as they say. Put the baby on the boob, they latch, suck and you are good to go! Well it wasn't that smooth for us! 

That being said, I'm very thankful Kinley latched at the beginning as well as she did. We had a c section so sometimes that doesn't happen. I didn't get to be the first to hold my baby, she didn't get placed on my chest immediately. They showed her to me then took her away and stitched me up. We didn't get to have skin to skin until I was in recovery. And honestly I don't even know how long that was after she was born. But when I did get her she latched and we had a very memorable first breastfeeding experience. 

She did absolutely amazing breastfeeding in the hospital. We decided it was best to have her in the nursery at night and requested she be brought back to us every 2 hours for feedings. After 15 hours of labor, pushing for 5 hours, ending in a c section and the huge amount of blood loss I had during the surgery I knew if I was going to heal she needed to be in the nursery. They were wonderful and brought her to us when she needed to be fed, then they took her back to the nursery. It was perfect! Then she spent all day with us :). 

My milk came in on day 3 and after we got home Kinley continued to do well breastfeeding. Me not so much!! I was in so much pain! I thought it was normal though so we kept going. She was gaining weight and getting what she needed so I wasn't about to quit. Let me be honest though, it crossed my mind many many times. It was tough! I was exhausted! I was hormonal! I was in pain from the c section! Giving up would've been so much easier! It was not in my future though! I knew deep down that wasn't what I wanted and I knew that wasn't what was best for all of us! 

We continued to breastfeed every 2-3 hours for many many months!!! Remember she didn't sleep through the night until 13 months :)  

I started pumping when she was about a month old. I was determined to get a stash going for when I went back to work. 

You exclusive pumping moms are my  heroes! I hated pumping! It hurt me so bad!! I tried many different size flanges and different levels on my pump. It didn't matter. It hurt! Remember all those bags I had to take to work to make pumping happen! It was crazy!

Looking back I probably pumped a little too often but I was so worried about not having enough milk in the freezer when I went back to work. If I wasn't feeding her I was pumping! Wow was it exhausting! If she slept more than 3 hours at night I was still getting up to pump. There was no missed feeding/pumping sessions. 

Now things did get easier and we got into a groove with her eating. But at 6 months a friend finally talked me into seeing a lactation consulatant because I was still in extreme pain. From what I've heard lactation consultants are amazing! Our luck wasn't like that. She basically told me since we were 6 months in there was no changing anything. What a disappointment, but I wasn't letting that stop me! 

We did find out she had thrush and a LOT of milk build up on her tongue so that was part of the reason for my pain. It took a long time to get that under control but I think once we finally did we got into a good groove and for the most part I was pain free while she ate. Pumping was a different story! We still weren't quitting! We had made it this far, we were going to keep going! 

I'm not writing this post to deter moms from breastfeeding in no way shape or form. I want this to inspire people that you can keep going! It's tough! It's a journey that's not all butterflies and rainbows! I would do it again in a heartbeat! The outcome and the benefits in the end are so rewarding. I would take that pain for 6+ months anyday to get to where we did! 17 months of breastfeeding! I'm proud! 

I owe many thanks to my husband who offered countless words of encouragement and many sleepless nights of support. He's my rock! He was one of the only people who encouraged me to keep going. He knew I didn't want to quit so if he could help me in any way he was going too. He knew it was important to me, so it was important to him as well! If he thought stopping would've made me happy he would've supported that decision. 

I finally stopped pumping around 13 months and it was amazing! When I first went back to work I was pumping 4 times a day and exclusively breastfeeding her. I slowly cut out one pumping session which made the weaning process for me so much easier. My boobs thanked me too. It definitely was helpful to wean gradually and slowly. I was never in pain when we weaned. 

What an amazing journey breastfeeding was for us! I wouldn't change it for the world! Good luck to all the breastfeeding mommies out there! It's tough but one of my most rewarding accomplishments ever! 

I hope this inspires you mommies to never give up! If that's your choice! 17 months later...full of attitude! I love this little girl more than anything!