Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Kinley's Birth Story part 2

Proceed with caution.

The throwing up continued as I was wheeled into the OR. The drs were all reassuring me things would be fine and I would be holding my baby girl soon! I was able to finally calm down enough to catch my breath. They wouldn't let Matt come in right away which didn't make things any better. The anesthesiologist talked to me the whole time which really helped. He told me everything they were doing and before I knew it Matt was by my side holding my hand. I couldn't feel much besides a lot of tugging and pulling but no pain. The dr said "It's a girl she is here!" All I was waiting for was a cry, I wanted to hear that precious baby girl of mine cry. The best sound in the whole entire world! I heard it! Tears were now rolling down my face. She was here and healthy! I couldn't have been happier. I heard one big scream and then it was silent. My heart dropped. I thought I was going to die. Why wasn't she crying and screaming! I was starting to freak out! "Why isn't she crying what is wrong with my baby girl." I was now yelling this looking for an answer. What seemed like forever finally the dr said she was in the other room with Daddy to get her cleaned off so I could hold her. Oh my gosh!!! That few moments of my life were the worst ever!

They cleaned her up, wrapped her and brought her back to me with Daddy so I could hold her! I was so sad I wasn't the first one to hold her. I was so cold, shaking and still vomiting I didn't get to hold her for that long. 

I was so happy to snuggle my baby girl! I couldn't wait to breastfeed her and snuggle her not in the OR. They took her away and while they stitched me up they took her weight and measurements with Daddy. It sure seemed like forever before they were done and I was in recovery. It seemed even longer before Matt and Kinley were back in the room with me. They had to do her first bath, hearing test and ensure I was stable first. I had lost a LOT of blood so they were closely monitoring me. They had talked about a blood transfusion but wanted to see how I stabalized first. Finally she was back in my arms!

I was so happy to not be throwing up because of all the medicine. Kinley latched and breastfed like a champ. I was so in love it was unreal. A feeling I can't even explain, it was so amazing. I was in recovery for a few hours and then transferred to our room. Our home for the next few days and where we celebrated our first Thanksgiving as a family.

The rest of our hospital stay was pretty uneventful thank goodness! We had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal that my inlaws brought us and soaked up many snuggles as a family of 3, well really 5 now. :) Our animals are our first kiddos!

Kinley got to meet her grandparents, her uncle and facetime with her new aunties all the way in Colorado. Everyone is so in love! I was able to get up and move the next day. They decided I was stable enough to not have to do a blood transfusion, thank goodness! I slowly started to walk around and feel better. Getting up and moving definitely helped me to feel human again. Sitting in a hospital bed for so long is not fun.  I never knew walking down the hall would be so hard and exert so much energy. I guess that's what having stomach surgery will do to you.

We stayed 3 nights and were on our way home as a family before we knew it. I was so excited to get home and see the animals. I missed them so much! They were so happy to see us, well Kodac was (chocolate lab), Loki (cat) not so much. He went flying upstairs as soon as he saw Kinley. He didn't come out for a few days! I think Kodac was in love!

I had to keep up with my weekly updates. Since I didn't make it to 40 weeks the 40 week photo included my little girl!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Kinley's Birth Story part 1

LONG POST and might be a little gross to some. Proceed with caution :)

Oh my..where to begin! Monday November 25 we had our 39 week check up. Everything was going fine and I had no signs of labor. I was dilated 3cm and 70% effaced. The Dr said the word I had been dreading through the whole pregnancy... INDUCTION. I did not want to be induced, I was so scared of all the horror stories about induction. She didn't want me to go past my due date because of the gestational diabetes and the chance of Kinley getting too big. She was an estimated 7lbs the previous week on ultrasound. Didn't seem to big too me! She was going to be perfect!

My Dr thought it would be best to schedule induction as soon as possible, like as in tomorrow. I was terrified! Are you kidding me tomorrow! Tomorrow I was going to be a mom and my whole would would be changed. We talked to the scheduler and signed the papers. Thank goodness with Thanksgiving on Thursday they didn't have anything tomorrow. Ok I could breath a little. We would met our baby girl on Monday December 2, 2013. I was so scared I didn't even speak the whole way home. We got home and I just started bawling. I didn't want to be induced I wanted Kinley to come on her own. I was so scared it would end in a c section. The LAST thing I wanted. My biggest fear!

I was suppose to work the rest of the week up until Thanksgiving. After talking crying it over with Matt we both decided it was best for me to take the rest of the week off and just relax. I wanted to try everything possible to have her come on her own and it started with Mexican stuffed shells for dinner. The spicier the better. I was pretty certain it wouldn't matter since I had been eating spicy things the entire pregnancy. I was so stressed I thought I was going to puke..stuffed shells had to help, right? After I thought I cried enough for the night I decided I was going to go to bed and just be ok with the induction and happy there was an end in sight!

Tuesday morning, officially 39 weeks, we woke up and I was happy to get to sleep in and have a me day. Matt had to go in early for some work things but that meant he would be off early and we would for once have an evening together. It was a gorgeous day outside so I thought I would take Kodac for a walk, a fast walk! He loves walking so I thought why not...anything to get labor started right! After getting back I thought cleaning the house would be a good idea since I did have the day off and being somewhat production made me feel better. At about 330 I started to lose lots of mucus. Oh my gosh were things getting close? I couldn't get so excited yet. You can lose mucus weeks before going into labor. I added in a little nipple stimulation to see if things were really getting real. How in the heck was I so stressed out less than 24 hours earlier about an induction and things were happening. Kinley must have known this mama was stressed to the max. I think I was starting to have contractions, well I really had no clue because I didn't know what to expect. Maybe they were just Braxton Hicks. I kept going to the bathroom in hopes I was making more progress. This time there was blood when I wiped! I was so excited! Had all that stressing last night helped LOL.

My contractions seemed to intensify. Contractions were about 10 minutes apart and getting more painful. I told myself I was not going to the hospital to get sent home again, if we were going to the hospital we were having a baby! It was now about 5:00pm and I was concerned about the blood loss so I called the Dr. They told me to continue timing my contractions and if they got 3 minutes apart go to the hospital. They were getting more intense and getting closer together. I text Matt and told him he might want to wrap things up at work because we might be having a baby! Eeekkk so exciting. My contractions were about 2 minutes apart and getting pretty intense. I told Matt to grab food if he wanted to eat, because it might be awhile before he got food again. He got home, looked at me and started rushing around. He later told me he knew it was baby time by the look on my face.

We got our things together, and headed to the hospital. It was only about a 5 minute drive so we weren't in a rush. He was stuffing his face with Wendy's trying to feed me french fries. I was just trying to breath through contractions. We got to the hospital and checked in. I could barely stand as contractions were intense and close together! They got us checked in and in a room. The nurse came in and checked me, I was 5cm, we were being admitted and having a baby! I did all that stressing about induction and I went into labor on my own! WOO HOO! We were transferred to Labor and Delivery and about an hour later I got my epidural. I was 6-7cm dilated. Things were progressing and I was so excited!

Labor had not been easy at this point, the medicine was making me vomit every so often which was so horrible since I had nothing in my system. Come on baby girl get out of your mama! I hate throwing up it is the worst! I do not do good with pain meds and not eating was making it worse. 2am and we were 10cm and ready to push! We are going to meet our baby soon! I pushed and pushed and pushed...I didn't feel I was making any progress. Well lets be honest I wasn't. The nurse and Dr said they could see her head and even Matt saw her head. She had some hair! Well needless to say 5 hours later and no baby I was exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. I just cried. 

The Dr came back in and checked me. She informed me Kinley was not coming down and we probably needed to explore other options at this point. My biggest fear was becoming reality. The Dr said ultimately it was our choice to have an elected c section at this point since Kinley was doing so well and was not in any danger. I was hysterical. I was so scared and had so many emotions going through my head, not to mention at this point we had been up over 24 hours and just spent 5 hours pushing and vomiting! I was a mess!! The Dr said we could try pushing for another hour but she was honest and thought it wouldn't make a difference. My pelvis was narrow and Kinley was nice and cozy. Matt and I both decided c section was best for both myself and Kinley at this point. I can't even tell you how upset I was. 

I felt defeated and I already failed as a mother and she wasn't even born yet. No one ever told you parenting was going to be this hard. I knew getting her here safely was the only thing I wanted at this point so we signed the paperwork and prepared to go to surgery :( . Matt suited up and they prepped me for surgery. I was so beyond hysterical I couldn't even breath. Hyperventilating and vomiting was not a good combination. My Dr was awesome and explained everything to me, attempting to calm me down. It didn't really work but I was thankful for the support. Ready or not here we go. 

Read part 2 here