Friday, January 24, 2014

Kinley's Birth Story part 1

LONG POST and might be a little gross to some. Proceed with caution :)

Oh my..where to begin! Monday November 25 we had our 39 week check up. Everything was going fine and I had no signs of labor. I was dilated 3cm and 70% effaced. The Dr said the word I had been dreading through the whole pregnancy... INDUCTION. I did not want to be induced, I was so scared of all the horror stories about induction. She didn't want me to go past my due date because of the gestational diabetes and the chance of Kinley getting too big. She was an estimated 7lbs the previous week on ultrasound. Didn't seem to big too me! She was going to be perfect!

My Dr thought it would be best to schedule induction as soon as possible, like as in tomorrow. I was terrified! Are you kidding me tomorrow! Tomorrow I was going to be a mom and my whole would would be changed. We talked to the scheduler and signed the papers. Thank goodness with Thanksgiving on Thursday they didn't have anything tomorrow. Ok I could breath a little. We would met our baby girl on Monday December 2, 2014. I was so scared I didn't even speak the whole way home. We got home and I just started bawling. I didn't want to be induced I wanted Kinley to come on her own. I was so scared it would end in a c section. The LAST thing I wanted. My biggest fear!

I was suppose to work the rest of the week up until Thanksgiving. After talking crying it over with Matt we both decided it was best for me to take the rest of the week off and just relax. I wanted to try everything possible to have her come on her own and it started with Mexican stuffed shells for dinner. The spicier the better. I was pretty certain it wouldn't matter since I had been eating spicy things the entire pregnancy. I was so stressed I thought I was going to puke..stuffed shells had to help, right? After I thought I cried enough for the night I decided I was going to go to bed and just be ok with the induction and happy there was an end in sight!



Tuesday morning, officially 39 weeks, we woke up and I was happy to get to sleep in and have a me day. Matt had to go in early for some work things but that meant he would be off early and we would for once have an evening together. It was a gorgeous day outside so I thought I would take Kodac for a walk, a fast walk! He loves walking so I thought why not...anything to get labor started right! After getting back I thought cleaning the house would be a good idea since I did have the day off and being somewhat production made me feel better. At about 330 I started to lose lots of mucus. Oh my gosh were things getting close? I couldn't get so excited yet. You can lose mucus weeks before going into labor. I added in a little nipple stimulation to see if things were really getting real. How in the heck was I so stressed out less than 24 hours earlier about an induction and things were happening. Kinley must have known this mama was stressed to the max. I think I was starting to have contractions, well I really had no clue because I didn't know what to expect. Maybe they were just Braxton Hicks. I kept going to the bathroom in hopes I was making more progress. This time there was blood when I wiped! I was so excited! Had all that stressing last night helped LOL.

My contractions seemed to intensify. Contractions were about 10 minutes apart and getting more painful. I told myself I was not going to the hospital to get sent home again, if we were going to the hospital we were having a baby! It was now about 5:00pm and I was concerned about the blood loss so I called the Dr. They told me to continue timing my contractions and if they got 3 minutes apart go to the hospital. They were getting more intense and getting closer together. I text Matt and told him he might want to wrap things up at work because we might be having a baby! Eeekkk so exciting. My contractions were about 2 minutes apart and getting pretty intense. I told Matt to grab food if he wanted to eat, because it might be awhile before he got food again. He got home, looked at me and started rushing around. He later told me he knew it was baby time by the look on my face.

We got our things together, and headed to the hospital. It was only about a 5 minute drive so we weren't in a rush. He was stuffing his face with Wendy's trying to feed me french fries. I was just trying to breath through contractions. We got to the hospital and checked in. I could barely stand as contractions were intense and close together! They got us checked in and in a room. The nurse came in and checked me, I was 5cm, we were being admitted and having a baby! I did all that stressing about induction and I went into labor on my own! WOO HOO! We were transferred to Labor and Delivery and about an hour later I got my epidural. I was 6-7cm dilated. Things were progressing and I was so excited!





Labor had not been easy at this point, the medicine was making me vomit every so often which was so horrible since I had nothing in my system. Come on baby girl get out of your mama! I hate throwing up it is the worst! I do not do good with pain meds and not eating was making it worse. 2am and we were 10cm and ready to push! We are going to meet our baby soon! I pushed and pushed and pushed...I didn't feel I was making any progress. Well lets be honest I wasn't. The nurse and Dr said they could see her head and even Matt saw her head. She had some hair! Well needless to say 5 hours later and no baby I was exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. I just cried. 

The Dr came back in and checked me. She informed me Kinley was not coming down and we probably needed to explore other options at this point. My biggest fear was becoming reality. The Dr said ultimately it was our choice to have an elected c section at this point since Kinley was doing so well and was not in any danger. I was hysterical. I was so scared and had so many emotions going through my head, not to mention at this point we had been up over 24 hours and just spent 5 hours pushing and vomiting! I was a mess!! The Dr said we could try pushing for another hour but she was honest and thought it wouldn't make a difference. My pelvis was narrow and Kinley was nice and cozy. Matt and I both decided c section was best for both myself and Kinley at this point. I can't even tell you how upset I was. 

I felt defeated and I already failed as a mother and she wasn't even born yet. No one ever told you parenting was going to be this hard. I knew getting her here safely was the only thing I wanted at this point so we signed the paperwork and prepared to go to surgery :( . Matt suited up and they prepped me for surgery. I was so beyond hysterical I couldn't even breath. Hyperventilating and vomiting was not a good combination. My Dr was awesome and explained everything to me, attempting to calm me down. It didn't really work but I was thankful for the support. Ready or not here we go. 


Read part 2 here







20 comments:

  1. I love reading birth stories! Shows you that you can prepare and plan a much as possible, but your baby is ultimately in charge.

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    1. So very true!! Thanks for stopping by.

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  2. I had a c-section and I must be crazy but that is what I wanted.. I knew my heart wouldn't be able to handle the strains of labor due to previous health issues. Babies are little miracles, they just like to be stubborn at times. Thanks for sharing!
    www.chelseashootspeople.com

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    1. I don't think you are crazy for wanting a c-section. You knew that was best! Thanks for reading.

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  3. Even though it didn't go the way you wanted, every birth story is beautiful and thank you so much for sharing yours!!! <3

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  4. I love how under your goal for today says have a baby! But let me just say this to you.... you have NOT failed as a mother, labor is not easy. I had two babies with light meds and i had to be inducted all three times. My third I had to have an epidural and I was made that I did but it was the right thing. My baby was sunny side up and no matter how many times they rolled him over he rolled back. And from the looks of it you ended up with a beautiful baby girl. You are a great strong woman!

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    1. Thank you so much! Yes she is definitely beautiful and I am happy we were both ok.

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  5. I have to agree with Mummy Knows Reviews.... you have not failed, but rather brought your baby girl into the world the safest way possible for that moment in time. You weighed the options and did what any parent has to do, and made a tough decision in favor of helping your child as well as yourself. Surgery is no walk in the park, nor a easy way out like many assume. I have three c-sections under my belt (the first one was an emergency), and each one was different. Congratulations are a beautiful baby girl! Love the way she gazes at you in part two. :)

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    1. Thank you Maryann. Yes I hate when people say a c-section is the easy way out. They have no idea! I appreciate your support!

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  6. It's amazing how babies just have their own agenda. =P Every mom's birth story is special, and no matter what happens during birth, you're still a mom and you still have a baby in the end!

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    1. They really do Jaime! I should've known from the beginning. She gave me a run the whole pregnancy. Thank you.

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  7. I just started sharing my first pregnancy/birth story on my blog, so I had to come read yours. I'm only in the first trimester for my posts. I'm sorry your birth didn't go as planned. I don't think they ever do.

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    1. I will have to go read yours as well Shann :) They sure don't go as planned LOL.

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  8. Awww I read your comment on my blog before I read this, and now I feel so sad. You were a champ! You did amazing work mama! If you truly are interested in a VBAC next time I would find a new OB. You absolutely did NOT fail and shame on your doctor for FAILING YOU. (Pushing you for an induction at 39 weeks!! WTH!?) All mommies are successes!! No matter how their babies came into the world. <3

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    1. Oh don't feel sad Kayleigh! I really think I am going to find a new OB. I really don't love my OB so it can't hurt to find a new one. I have gotten some good recommendations. UGGGG yes I was so mad about the induction. I understand I had gestational diabetes but I controlled it with diet the entire pregnancy. She was fine. Thank you for your support....you are sweet!

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  9. I hope you know having a c-section isn't a fail! Well, I am sure you know that now. Or at least I do. Love your post! Can't wait to read the part two later tonight. <3

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    1. Yes I do know that know, but it took me a long time to be ok with that! I had to make the best decision for us both and a c-section it was. Thanks :)

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