Our Current Situation...Send Wine

Wow things have been crazy lately. We have been so busy with so much going on I wanted to share a brief update. I am sure this won't even include everything that has been going on because my brain is all over the place.

Matt and I got a day date a few weeks ago and had a blast. We were going to go see Hidden Figures but there were only front row seating left when we got there so we decided the brewery was a better option anyways. We will try again for the movie another time, hoping for another day date soon!

We had to find a new daycare provider for the kids. My work schedule changed and we needed full time care and our provider was not able to watch the kids full time. Finding new child care is awful! I hate the process but I think we have found someone great and am very excited for her to become a part of our family. I was a nanny for many years so having a nanny is something special to me.

On that note we might be finding a new preschool for Kinley next year. Her school is only offering Monday - Friday for the 3's class and we know we do not want to send her full time all day long. We are so torn on what to do because we don't want her to have to go through the transition again, it was tough on her and she still has days she struggles.

I have been pumping for 10 months and can not wait to be done! Not done breastfeeding but done pumping! I do not respond well to the pump and feel so frustrated after a pumping session. I will probably stop somewhere after a year but we will continue to breastfeed until who knows when. I breastfed Kinley until she was about 17.5 months when my work schedule changed so it gave us a good time to wean. I had quite the journey with her.

Kinely is sooooo full of sass and attitude! I was 100% expecting 3 to be worse than 2 and it most definitely has been. She is testing boundaries and says the sassiest things. Where do they get these things from? Do not let that sweet face fool you! She has been pretty rotten if I am being honest. On a happier note with her she has been in swim lessons for almost 3 months and she is doing great and loves it.

We have been trying to get Zander to sleep better at night, we have transitioned out of the Dockatot and working on lessening his night wake ups. He really still needs the ounces with his night feeding so I don't mind keeping it for a little longer, I would just like him to go back to sleep faster after. He is cutting about 4 teeth right now so things have been tough. I know eventually it will get better and really each day flies by so I am trying to not stress about things. Though I am tired.

I know that picture of them is blurry but it is too cute not to share. That is all I can think about for right now! Happy Hump day to everyone! This is my first week working 5 days in a row in awhile and I am not excited for it! Hoping these next few days fly by.

What No One Tells You About Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is HARD!! No one wants to tell you the struggles breastfeeding brings; the cracked bleeding nipples, pain when the baby eats, pain when you are pumping every 2-4 hours to make enough milk, the amount of dedication it takes to continue, the numerous times quitting went through my head, the list could go on. Now don't get me wrong, I loved being able to breastfeed my child for 17 months but it didn't come easy. It took a lot of tears, support, dedication and perseverance! I'm by no means judging anyone that chooses not to breastfeed their child or just simply can't. Everyone's journey is different. This is ours!

I choose to breastfeed our child and I wasn't giving up. It was something that was extremely important to me so we were gonna make it work, tears and all!

I want moms to know that it isn't always as natural as they say. Put the baby on the boob, they latch, suck and you are good to go! Well it wasn't that smooth for us! 

That being said, I'm very thankful Kinley latched at the beginning as well as she did. We had a c section so sometimes that doesn't happen. I didn't get to be the first to hold my baby, she didn't get placed on my chest immediately. They showed her to me then took her away and stitched me up. We didn't get to have skin to skin until I was in recovery. And honestly I don't even know how long that was after she was born. But when I did get her she latched and we had a very memorable first breastfeeding experience. 

She did absolutely amazing breastfeeding in the hospital. We decided it was best to have her in the nursery at night and requested she be brought back to us every 2 hours for feedings. After 15 hours of labor, pushing for 5 hours, ending in a c section and the huge amount of blood loss I had during the surgery I knew if I was going to heal she needed to be in the nursery. They were wonderful and brought her to us when she needed to be fed, then they took her back to the nursery. It was perfect! Then she spent all day with us :). 

My milk came in on day 3 and after we got home Kinley continued to do well breastfeeding. Me not so much!! I was in so much pain! I thought it was normal though so we kept going. She was gaining weight and getting what she needed so I wasn't about to quit. Let me be honest though, it crossed my mind many many times. It was tough! I was exhausted! I was hormonal! I was in pain from the c section! Giving up would've been so much easier! It was not in my future though! I knew deep down that wasn't what I wanted and I knew that wasn't what was best for all of us! 

We continued to breastfeed every 2-3 hours for many many months!!! Remember she didn't sleep through the night until 13 months :)  

I started pumping when she was about a month old. I was determined to get a stash going for when I went back to work. 

You exclusive pumping moms are my  heroes! I hated pumping! It hurt me so bad!! I tried many different size flanges and different levels on my pump. It didn't matter. It hurt! Remember all those bags I had to take to work to make pumping happen! It was crazy!

Looking back I probably pumped a little too often but I was so worried about not having enough milk in the freezer when I went back to work. If I wasn't feeding her I was pumping! Wow was it exhausting! If she slept more than 3 hours at night I was still getting up to pump. There was no missed feeding/pumping sessions. 

Now things did get easier and we got into a groove with her eating. But at 6 months a friend finally talked me into seeing a lactation consulatant because I was still in extreme pain. From what I've heard lactation consultants are amazing! Our luck wasn't like that. She basically told me since we were 6 months in there was no changing anything. What a disappointment, but I wasn't letting that stop me! 

We did find out she had thrush and a LOT of milk build up on her tongue so that was part of the reason for my pain. It took a long time to get that under control but I think once we finally did we got into a good groove and for the most part I was pain free while she ate. Pumping was a different story! We still weren't quitting! We had made it this far, we were going to keep going! 

I'm not writing this post to deter moms from breastfeeding in no way shape or form. I want this to inspire people that you can keep going! It's tough! It's a journey that's not all butterflies and rainbows! I would do it again in a heartbeat! The outcome and the benefits in the end are so rewarding. I would take that pain for 6+ months anyday to get to where we did! 17 months of breastfeeding! I'm proud! 

I owe many thanks to my husband who offered countless words of encouragement and many sleepless nights of support. He's my rock! He was one of the only people who encouraged me to keep going. He knew I didn't want to quit so if he could help me in any way he was going too. He knew it was important to me, so it was important to him as well! If he thought stopping would've made me happy he would've supported that decision. 

I finally stopped pumping around 13 months and it was amazing! When I first went back to work I was pumping 4 times a day and exclusively breastfeeding her. I slowly cut out one pumping session which made the weaning process for me so much easier. My boobs thanked me too. It definitely was helpful to wean gradually and slowly. I was never in pain when we weaned. 

What an amazing journey breastfeeding was for us! I wouldn't change it for the world! Good luck to all the breastfeeding mommies out there! It's tough but one of my most rewarding accomplishments ever! 

I hope this inspires you mommies to never give up! If that's your choice! 17 months later...full of attitude! I love this little girl more than anything!

A Day in the Life of a Working Mama

Well Ive been back at work a month now so I thought I would write a post on being a working mama! It was very hard to go back and I miss Kinley so much during the day. It's been tough to be up 2-3 times in the night and still function at work and then at home with her in the evening. But we are making do and I am loving every minute of it. It's a long day but nothing a cup or two of coffee doesn't get me through.

6:15am - Get up and shower as quietly as possible. She is still in our room right now and I swear she hears everything and wants to get up with mama. There have been many mornings I push snooze until 6:30 but I try to get up at 6:15.

6:35 am - Tip toe out of our room and go down stairs to dry and straighten my hair. Hook up the pump because I won't get to pump again until 10:00 and that makes for some sore boobs! Put on some makeup as I hear Matt and Kinley get up.

7:03 am - Change Kinley and enjoy her smiley face. I am amazed at how smiley this girl is in the morning despite being up so often and not sleeping very late. She is one happy girl. Seeing her smiles in the morning makes it all worth getting up in the middle of the night. Feed her and enjoy the last little bit I get with her before going to work.

7:34 am - Throw together some lunch, usually dinner from the night before. Pack up the bottles I need for pumping and all the pump parts. I carry so many bags to work they make fun of me. One day I forgot half my pump parts at home and had to come back and get them. Good thing I work only 7 minutes away.

7:47 am - Brew coffee. This is a MUST! I have come to love coffee even more since becoming a mommy. I don't have more than 2 cups a day but I love it! I find myself going to bed thinking about my coffee the next morning.

7:50 am - Soak up some last minute snuggles with my love bug before heading out the door for work.  Kiss Matt and the girl and I'm off.

8:05 am - Check emails and get ready for the day. The mornings are crazy busy at work and my 10:30 pumping session comes fast.

10:36 am - Pack up my bags and off to pump. I pump for 20 minutes looking through pictures of Kinley.

12:00 pm - Lunch! I am thankful we have lunch built into our day or I don't think I would ever get a chance to eat. I try to snack throughout the day because I want to make sure I am getting enough calories while breastfeeding.

2:30 pm - Off to pump again for 20 minutes while enjoying the pictures Matt sends me throughout the days. Sometimes I even get videos and I love them so much!

4:00 pm - I am out the door and headed home to see my baby girl!

4:15 - 6:00 pm - Sometimes I try to get her down for a small nap depending on how her day went. If she doesn't go down, which is about 90% of the time we play and go for walks.

6:02 pm - Start dinner while talking to Kinley. She loves being in her bouncy seat watching me make dinner.

7:00 pm - Bedtime routine starts with a bath. Kinley loves the bath and I think could stay in the water forever. It is such a great time with her smiling and talking. After bath we do lotion and pjs. Mood depending on story time. She eats and then I put her in the rock and play. She usually falls right asleep until..

7:56 pm - 45 minutes later she is up. Happens every time she goes down. This 45minute intruder is killer and the struggle starts to get her back to sleep for the night. This is anywhere from a 1-2 hour battle. By that time I am beat and ready for bed myself.

10:04 pm - Brush my teeth and get into bed. I know she will be up soon to eat again. We are experiencing 4 month sleep regression and she is up every 3-4 hours now.

12:10 am - Kinley is up to eat. I feed her and put her right back down.

3:17 am - Up to eat again. This is definitely taking a toll on me. She usually goes right back down but there have been a few nights where she doesn't and we are up until 5 or 530.

4:03 am - Back to sleep for a few hours until it starts all over again.

I love my baby girl so so much but I am really looking forward to getting more than 3-4 hours of sleep at a time.

Happy Hump Day!!