What No One Tells You About Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is HARD!! No one wants to tell you the struggles breastfeeding brings; the cracked bleeding nipples, pain when the baby eats, pain when you are pumping every 2-4 hours to make enough milk, the amount of dedication it takes to continue, the numerous times quitting went through my head, the list could go on. Now don't get me wrong, I loved being able to breastfeed my child for 17 months but it didn't come easy. It took a lot of tears, support, dedication and perseverance! I'm by no means judging anyone that chooses not to breastfeed their child or just simply can't. Everyone's journey is different. This is ours!

I choose to breastfeed our child and I wasn't giving up. It was something that was extremely important to me so we were gonna make it work, tears and all!

I want moms to know that it isn't always as natural as they say. Put the baby on the boob, they latch, suck and you are good to go! Well it wasn't that smooth for us! 

That being said, I'm very thankful Kinley latched at the beginning as well as she did. We had a c section so sometimes that doesn't happen. I didn't get to be the first to hold my baby, she didn't get placed on my chest immediately. They showed her to me then took her away and stitched me up. We didn't get to have skin to skin until I was in recovery. And honestly I don't even know how long that was after she was born. But when I did get her she latched and we had a very memorable first breastfeeding experience. 

She did absolutely amazing breastfeeding in the hospital. We decided it was best to have her in the nursery at night and requested she be brought back to us every 2 hours for feedings. After 15 hours of labor, pushing for 5 hours, ending in a c section and the huge amount of blood loss I had during the surgery I knew if I was going to heal she needed to be in the nursery. They were wonderful and brought her to us when she needed to be fed, then they took her back to the nursery. It was perfect! Then she spent all day with us :). 

My milk came in on day 3 and after we got home Kinley continued to do well breastfeeding. Me not so much!! I was in so much pain! I thought it was normal though so we kept going. She was gaining weight and getting what she needed so I wasn't about to quit. Let me be honest though, it crossed my mind many many times. It was tough! I was exhausted! I was hormonal! I was in pain from the c section! Giving up would've been so much easier! It was not in my future though! I knew deep down that wasn't what I wanted and I knew that wasn't what was best for all of us! 

We continued to breastfeed every 2-3 hours for many many months!!! Remember she didn't sleep through the night until 13 months :)  

I started pumping when she was about a month old. I was determined to get a stash going for when I went back to work. 

You exclusive pumping moms are my  heroes! I hated pumping! It hurt me so bad!! I tried many different size flanges and different levels on my pump. It didn't matter. It hurt! Remember all those bags I had to take to work to make pumping happen! It was crazy!

Looking back I probably pumped a little too often but I was so worried about not having enough milk in the freezer when I went back to work. If I wasn't feeding her I was pumping! Wow was it exhausting! If she slept more than 3 hours at night I was still getting up to pump. There was no missed feeding/pumping sessions. 

Now things did get easier and we got into a groove with her eating. But at 6 months a friend finally talked me into seeing a lactation consulatant because I was still in extreme pain. From what I've heard lactation consultants are amazing! Our luck wasn't like that. She basically told me since we were 6 months in there was no changing anything. What a disappointment, but I wasn't letting that stop me! 

We did find out she had thrush and a LOT of milk build up on her tongue so that was part of the reason for my pain. It took a long time to get that under control but I think once we finally did we got into a good groove and for the most part I was pain free while she ate. Pumping was a different story! We still weren't quitting! We had made it this far, we were going to keep going! 

I'm not writing this post to deter moms from breastfeeding in no way shape or form. I want this to inspire people that you can keep going! It's tough! It's a journey that's not all butterflies and rainbows! I would do it again in a heartbeat! The outcome and the benefits in the end are so rewarding. I would take that pain for 6+ months anyday to get to where we did! 17 months of breastfeeding! I'm proud! 

I owe many thanks to my husband who offered countless words of encouragement and many sleepless nights of support. He's my rock! He was one of the only people who encouraged me to keep going. He knew I didn't want to quit so if he could help me in any way he was going too. He knew it was important to me, so it was important to him as well! If he thought stopping would've made me happy he would've supported that decision. 

I finally stopped pumping around 13 months and it was amazing! When I first went back to work I was pumping 4 times a day and exclusively breastfeeding her. I slowly cut out one pumping session which made the weaning process for me so much easier. My boobs thanked me too. It definitely was helpful to wean gradually and slowly. I was never in pain when we weaned. 

What an amazing journey breastfeeding was for us! I wouldn't change it for the world! Good luck to all the breastfeeding mommies out there! It's tough but one of my most rewarding accomplishments ever! 

I hope this inspires you mommies to never give up! If that's your choice! 17 months later...full of attitude! I love this little girl more than anything!

Weekend Fun

The weekends just go so fast. Especially this weekend! I had two days off but they weren't together since we were out of town last weekend so I had to make up some time. And I worked my entire 10 shift on Memorial Day. That is ok though! Sacrifices have to be made when you are saving for a house! I didn't get a chance to take too many pictures until Sunday.

Friday we had a good family day and I enjoyed some time in the sun with my friend, Krystal. It was beautiful out and I think it is safe to say summer is here! I have to get my tan on since I am in two weddings in less than a month. We took Kinley to the park and just hung out and did some grilling. Kinley loved the corn but wouldn't hold it herself. Matt and I enjoyed some time after she went to bed watching Taken 3. I wasn't really impressed to be honest. They could've stopped at 2.

Saturday 5:15am came fast! I am not a fan of getting up that early but it is nice to be off work early and be home in time for dinner and be able to put my baby girl to bed. Work was slow but went by fast thankfully. Matt took Kinley to the grocery store and of course she got to eat all the cookies she wanted. The joys of being a daddy's girl.

Sunday we had such a great day! We all got up and Matt made breakfast then shortly after Kinley took a morning nap and Matt and I cleaned a little. Then we all headed to pick strawberries. Last year when we went Kinley was snuggled in the ergo. This year....completely different! She was ready to go!

We got there and decided it was too sunny for her to not have a hat on so no cute Memorial Day headband for her. She had such a blast. She actually got in and was picking strawberries and putting them in the bucket. Thank goodness we brought a spray bottle to clean the strawberries because I knew she would be eating them. We didn't want a tantrum in the middle of the strawberry patch. Go us for being on top of things! Home we went so the little bug could take a nap. While she napped I laid out for a few while Matt went to the store and brought me back Starbucks!

Then we headed to Matt's parents to BBQ and catch up. It has been a while since we have seen them with us being out of town and my new work schedule being a little hectic. Kinley needed a new outfit because she was covered in strawberries. We had a great time and lots of yummy food! When we got home Kinley wanted to go back outside. She seriously loves being outside. As soon as she finishes breakfast we are out in the morning. I love all the fresh air she is getting but her poor skin is so bumpy due to all the sunscreen we have to keep on her. She has such sensitive skin.

After we put her in bed we enjoyed some quality time watching SVU and making a delicious strawberry dessert with our fresh strawberries. If anyone has any good strawberry recipes send them my way! We have lots of strawberries to eat.

Monday was back to work for Matt and I. When you have jobs that are open 24/7 there are no holidays for us. That is ok though, the money is good.

I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend! Bring on summer! We can't wait to go to the beach!

Surprise Birthday & Bridal Shower

With my new schedule I was able to switch some shifts and go out to Colorado to surprise my sister for her birthday and her bridal shower. It's been difficult not being involved as much as I want with us  being so far away. So I did my best to get there when my step mom said she wanted to surprise her. Of course I took Kinley. She was so awesome and did great the entire trip! I know everyone enjoyed some much needed time with her. Maybe me too.

We got in Friday mid morning and got stuck in some major traffic. Kinley and I were starving. We were able to grab some lunch and stop by the salon to see my sister. When we got to my step moms there were a ton of deer in the drive way. It was so cool!

We had a big dinner party planned at my dads and Darlene's for her birthday later that evening. Darlene made fajitas which are my favorite (there's quite the funny story behind the first time I met Darlene and she made fajitas). Dinner was yummy and it was great to visit with family. I was beat by 9:30 after traveling with a toddler alone and still being on east coast time. We got up at 2am Colorado time....eeekkk

Saturday was packed full of fun watching my nephew play baseball. He was in a tournament all weekend so we watched a few games. I really enjoyed it! It's been years since I've seen him play baseball and he has gotten so much good. We dean a few last minute errands to prepare for the shower then my mom made dinner for everyone! Another yummy dinner and great company, 

Sunday we watched some more baseball then off to the bridal shower we went. The weather was absolutely gorgeous! I was quite surprised because when I looked at the forecast it was forecasted to rain all weekend. I was happily surprised with the beautiful sunshine.

The bridal shower was awesome but we missed the last bridesmaid, my other sister Alie, she couldn't get off work! A big thanks to Crystal and Amber for putting together such a great shower. I did what I could being long distance and everything worked out great! After the shower I enjoyed the last evening talking with my mom and dad while Kinley played with her cousin on the floor. She really was loving him! It was great watching them interact and her enjoying some cousin time. 

Monday morning came fast after no sleep due to my nephews rat keeping me up all night! Man I wanted to kill that thing lol. Didn't Brutus understand I was flying with a toddler all day the next day! I guess not lol! 

My sister took us to the airport and we said our goodbyes! I hate saying goodbye. But it was good to know we'd be back in 3 weeks and see her again. Being so far away from your best friend is hard! 

Our flights weren't too bad and Kinley did awesome again! Puke and all! Poor girl puked all over me as we were coming into Charlotte. She was so sad I had puke all over my shirt. She's such a sweet thing! I had to keep reassuring her I was ok and as soon as we stopped I would change my shirt. The joys of motherhood ☺️. We finally landed in Newport News and saw daddy! She was so excited! Then we sat in traffic for 2.5 hours and at that point no one was a happy camper! It was brutal. We were hungry and wanted to get home! 

We finally made it home and scarfed down some Wendy's, played for a few and the girl was off to bed! We were beat! I can't even remember the last time I ate fast food but let me tell you it was so yummy because I was starving!! Matt and I were able to catch up for a few and watch an episode of Teen Mom. Yes I love that show! It was back to work in the morning! We had such a great time and are very excited to go back in a few weeks for the wedding! Even better daddy gets to come too this time! 

I just love this picture of how Kinley is looking at her cousin. It is precious. Hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend!